Growing into Neutrality

“Everything will be okay as soon as you

are okay with everything. And that’s the

only time everything will be okay.”

Michael Singer, Untethered Soul

Towards the beginning of this journey, I had a needlessly narrow view of self-love.

I used to think “self-love” meant I had to replace every negative thought, action, or experience with a positive one. I thought self-love was all positive affirmations and rainbows, and “I’m doing great!” and “I love everything about my life,” etc. It was exhausting. It didn’t work because the more I would fixate on the negative, the more apparent it would become, kind of like a bruise I would persistently press on.

But, the more I explore, the more I realize that’s not it. It’s not about creating a clean, shining, slate every day. It’s not about pushing out the bad, the hurt, the pain, the difficulty. It’s not strongmanning yourself into positivity. You needn’t do so much heavy lifting love.

It’s about neutrality. It’s about distance. It’s about knowing that you are still whole, and true, and enough, and ok when you look at yourself through a dirty mirror. When life is giving you lessons, self-love is trusting you have the constitution and delicacy to overcome without leaving the beauty that is your reflection behind.

It’s about looking at yourself through the dust, through the dirt, the grime of everyday hardship, and, with an ease of purpose, whispering, “it’s ok, you got this.”

When you remove the need to have a perfect environment to germinate self-love, you can realize every instance is an opportunity to show that integrity with yourself.

Then you no longer have to be perfect. When you realize you can still see your true self, regardless of the glass in front of you, that is true self-love.